Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Houston, we have a blender
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
