is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
