Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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