This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
