i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
