i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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