It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
