Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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