I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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