I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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