420 ftw
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
