i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I need a beard to bite.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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