Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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