the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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