I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
