OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
