you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I wear drunk well.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
