is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
