he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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