Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
