We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
