He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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