Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Terrible idea I love it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
