how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
