I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
