Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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