And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
