I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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