party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
