Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
