Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
