i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
