fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
