Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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