I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
