he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
