I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
