We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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