Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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