Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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