I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
