I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
