i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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