when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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