Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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