The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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