Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
