We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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