is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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