I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
as a side note pls kill me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
