dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am naked and annoyed.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
