seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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