I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
