her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
