Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
