Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize