Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
