By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize