I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish you could order shots online.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
