What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
